Supporting Children Through Safe, Stable & Positive Parenting
Parenting can be rewarding, challenging, emotional and demanding at different times.
Every child is unique, and every family experiences periods of stress, change and uncertainty.
Positive parenting and emotional support can help children feel safe, secure, loved and supported throughout childhood.
Child wellbeing is shaped not only by physical care, but also by emotional stability, healthy communication, routines, relationships and feeling protected within the family environment.
Important: Family & Child Welfare Law Differs Across the UK
England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland have different family law, child protection and children's social-care systems.
The detailed Children Act 1989, Cafcass and Family Court information below primarily concerns England and Wales, while Working Together to Safeguard Children 2026 applies to England.
Always check which country's law applies to a particular family.
What Is Child Wellbeing?
Child wellbeing includes:
- Emotional wellbeing
- Physical health and safety
- Mental health
- Education and development
- Stable relationships
- Feeling loved and supported
- Social development and confidence
- Safe home environments
Children thrive best when they experience:
- Stability
- Consistency
- Safety
- Emotional warmth
- Healthy boundaries
- Positive support from trusted adults
The Child's Welfare Comes First in Family Court Decisions
Children Act 1989 - Welfare Principle
When a Family Court decides questions about a child's upbringing, section 1 of the Children Act 1989 makes the child's welfare the court's paramount consideration.
The Child Arrangements Programme also makes clear that:
- The child's welfare must be the highest priority.
- Children should be at the centre of decision-making.
- Their needs, wishes and feelings should be considered in an age-appropriate way.
- Delay in resolving disputes can be harmful to a child's welfare.
- A court should not make an order unless making an order would be better for the child than making no order.
Parental Responsibility
Parental responsibility is an important concept in family law.
Under section 3 of the Children Act 1989, parental responsibility means the legal rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority a parent has in relation to a child and the child's property.
Important parental responsibilities can include:
- Providing a home
- Protecting and maintaining the child
- Making decisions about education
- Consenting to medical treatment where appropriate
- Making important decisions about the child's upbringing
- Supporting the child financially
Parental Responsibility Is Not the Same as Contact
Having parental responsibility does not automatically give somebody a right to spend time with a child.
If parents cannot agree where a child lives or who they spend time with, those arrangements may need to be agreed through mediation or another form of dispute resolution, or determined by the Family Court where necessary.
Positive Parenting
Positive parenting focuses on supporting children through:
- Encouragement and guidance
- Calm communication
- Consistent routines
- Emotional support
- Healthy boundaries
- Listening and understanding
- Age-appropriate discipline
- Spending quality time together
Children benefit from parents who:
- Show love and reassurance
- Remain involved in their lives
- Communicate calmly
- Encourage learning and development
- Help children feel heard and valued
Positive parenting does not mean parents are perfect. All parents face challenges and make mistakes.
Seeking support when needed is a responsible and positive step.
Listening to the Child
Listening to a child does not mean making them responsible for adult decisions.
Children can benefit from being given safe, age-appropriate opportunities to express:
- Their feelings
- Their worries
- Things that make them feel safe
- Things they enjoy
- Changes they find difficult
- Relationships important to them
In Family Court Proceedings
The child's wishes and feelings can be important, but they are not the only consideration.
Their age, understanding, welfare needs, safety and the wider circumstances must also be considered.
Children should not be pressured to choose between parents.
Emotional Wellbeing in Children
Children may struggle emotionally due to:
- Family conflict
- Separation or divorce
- Changes in routines
- School pressures
- Bereavement or trauma
- Bullying
- Mental health difficulties within the family
- Financial stress within the household
Some signs a child may be struggling include:
- Anxiety or excessive worry
- Withdrawal from others
- Anger or emotional outbursts
- Sleep difficulties
- Changes in eating habits
- Low mood
- Difficult behaviour at school or home
Children often need reassurance, stability, patience and opportunities to express how they feel safely.
Getting Mental Health Support
In England, help for a child's mental health can potentially be accessed through:
- A GP
- A teacher
- A school nurse
- A social worker
- A paediatrician
- Local children and young people's mental health services
Some local children's mental health services also accept self-referrals from young people or parents.
Supporting Children Through Difficult Times
Parents can support children by:
- Keeping routines consistent
- Listening without judgement
- Reassuring children they are loved
- Avoiding exposing children to adult conflict
- Encouraging open communication
- Supporting school attendance and friendships
- Spending quality time together
- Seeking professional support where needed
Children benefit when adults remain calm, predictable and emotionally available during stressful periods.
Family Conflict & Child Wellbeing
Ongoing adult conflict can negatively affect children emotionally and psychologically.
Children should never:
- Be used as messengers between parents
- Be asked to take sides
- Hear hostile comments about the other parent
- Be exposed to aggressive or abusive behaviour
- Feel responsible for adult problems
Where possible, parents should aim to:
- Communicate respectfully
- Reduce conflict around children
- Focus on children's needs first
- Create safe and stable environments
Even after separation, children often cope better where conflict is reduced and co-parenting remains respectful.
Cafcass Guidance for Separated Parents
Cafcass advises separated parents to keep communication focused on the child and to avoid using children to pass messages between adults.
Where safe and appropriate, useful areas for parents to communicate about can include:
- Health
- Education
- Activities
- Routines
- Discipline and boundaries
- Important events
- Changes affecting the child
Safety Comes Before Cooperative Parenting
Cooperative communication is not appropriate in every family.
Where there is domestic abuse, coercive control, violence, stalking, safeguarding concerns or another risk of harm, safety planning and professional advice should take priority.
Any Family Court order or protective order must also be followed.
Healthy Boundaries & Discipline
Children benefit from:
- Clear expectations
- Consistent boundaries
- Fair consequences
- Positive reinforcement
- Calm explanations rather than fear-based discipline
Physical punishment, intimidation, humiliation or emotional abuse can negatively affect children's wellbeing and development.
Healthy discipline should focus on teaching, guidance and emotional safety.
Physical Punishment - UK Law Is Different in Each Nation
The legal position is not identical throughout the United Kingdom.
Wales: all physical punishment of children has been unlawful since 21 March 2022.
Scotland: all physical punishment of children has been unlawful since 7 November 2020.
England: the law is different. Section 58 of the Children Act 2004 restricts the circumstances in which a defence of reasonable punishment can be used. It cannot provide a defence to more serious offences such as causing actual bodily harm or child cruelty.
Northern Ireland has its own legal framework.
Parenting During Family Change
Family changes can feel confusing and emotional for children.
Parents can help by:
- Explaining changes in age-appropriate ways
- Reassuring children the separation is not their fault
- Maintaining routines where possible
- Encouraging safe relationships with both parents where appropriate
- Avoiding involving children in legal or adult disputes
- Supporting emotional expression
Children often benefit from stable routines, reassurance and ongoing emotional support during periods of change.
Cafcass Advice
Cafcass advises parents to reassure children that they are not to blame for a separation and to keep adult conflict away from them wherever possible.
Making a Parenting Plan After Separation
Where parents can communicate safely, agreeing practical arrangements can help provide consistency for children.
Issues that may be useful to discuss include:
- Where the child will live
- Time with each parent
- School arrangements
- Holidays
- Birthdays
- Health appointments
- Communication between homes
- Activities
- Bedtime and important routines
- Online safety
- How changes will be discussed
Mediation & Resolving Parenting Disagreements
Where it is safe and appropriate, mediation can help separated parents discuss arrangements for their children without asking a judge to make every decision.
Family Mediation Voucher Scheme - Current 2026 Support
Eligible families can currently receive a government-funded contribution of up to:
£500 towards family mediation.
The scheme is not means-tested and is available for eligible disputes involving children.
The voucher applies to mediation sessions rather than the initial MIAM.
The Family Procedure Rules currently provide for the voucher scheme to continue until 31 March 2029.
Mediation Is Not Appropriate in Every Case
Domestic abuse, coercive control or significant safeguarding concerns may affect whether mediation is safe or appropriate.
A mediator should assess suitability.
Mental Health & Parenting
Parenting pressures, stress, anxiety, depression or trauma can affect both adults and children.
Parents should feel able to seek support for:
- Mental health difficulties
- Parenting stress
- Burnout or exhaustion
- Emotional wellbeing
- Relationship pressures
- Anger or emotional regulation difficulties
Supporting parental wellbeing can also improve outcomes for children.
Best Start Family Hubs - England
Best Start Family Hubs are being expanded across England to make it easier for families to obtain support locally and free of charge.
Support available through hubs and their local networks can include:
- Parenting support
- Stay and play sessions
- Infant feeding support
- Mental health support
- Parent-infant relationship support
- Home learning support
- Early SEND support
- Money and practical guidance
- Connections to other local family services
Safeguarding & Safety
Every child has the right to:
- Be safe
- Be protected from harm
- Feel secure at home
- Be free from abuse or neglect
Substance misuse, serious conflict, neglect or unsafe behaviour can affect children deeply.
If there are concerns about abuse or immediate danger, contact emergency services or safeguarding support immediately.
If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 999.
Working Together to Safeguard Children 2026
The statutory safeguarding guidance for England was updated on 18 March 2026.
It sets out how organisations and professionals should work together to help, support and protect children.
The 2026 guidance strengthened areas including:
- Family Help
- Multi-agency child protection
- Domestic abuse
- Coercive control
- Child sexual abuse
- Teenage relationship abuse
- Support for babies and unborn children
- Children experiencing multiple forms of harm
Early Help Does Not Automatically Mean Child Protection
Families may need practical or emotional support without a child necessarily requiring formal child protection intervention.
The current system increasingly uses a Family Help approach to try to provide coordinated support before problems become more serious.
Children in Need & Family Support - England
Children Act 1989 - Section 17
Local authorities have duties to safeguard and promote the welfare of children in need in their area.
A child can meet the statutory definition of a child in need where, for example:
- They are unlikely to achieve or maintain a reasonable standard of health or development without services.
- Their health or development is likely to be significantly impaired without services.
- They are disabled.
Section 17 support is not the same as a finding that a parent has abused or neglected a child.
Children's Wellbeing & Schools Act 2026
The Children's Wellbeing and Schools Act 2026 received Royal Assent on 29 April 2026.
The Act contains a number of reforms relating to children's social care, family networks, kinship care, education and safeguarding.
One important reform provides for family group decision-making before certain local-authority applications for care or supervision orders, unless offering that process would not be in the child's best interests.
Not every provision of the Act commenced immediately on Royal Assent.
Families should therefore check the current commencement position before relying on a particular new duty.
When the Family Court Becomes Involved
Some parents are able to agree arrangements themselves or with mediation and support.
Where agreement is not possible, the Family Court can determine issues concerning a child's upbringing.
Orders can include:
- Child Arrangements Orders - where a child lives and who they spend time or otherwise have contact with.
- Specific Issue Orders - resolving a particular question about a child's upbringing.
- Prohibited Steps Orders - preventing a particular step being taken without the court's permission.
Family Court Is Not About Rewarding One Parent
The central legal question is the child's welfare.
Court proceedings should therefore focus on evidence relevant to the child rather than simply proving that one adult is better than another.
Parenting & Family Support Services
Parenting & Child Support
Relationship & Family Support
Family Mediation Council
Find accredited family mediators and mediation information.
Family Mediation CouncilMental Health Support
NHS Children's Mental Health
NHS Children & Young People's Mental HealthMind
Mind UKSamaritans
SamaritansYoungMinds
YoungMindsChild Support
Positive Parenting Checklist
- Make safety the first priority.
- Give children reassurance and affection.
- Maintain predictable routines where possible.
- Listen to children's feelings.
- Use age-appropriate explanations.
- Avoid blaming children for adult problems.
- Keep children out of parental disputes.
- Do not use children to pass messages.
- Avoid asking children to choose between parents.
- Use calm, consistent boundaries.
- Use discipline to teach rather than frighten or humiliate.
- Support healthy sleep and routines.
- Remain involved with education.
- Know who your child's trusted adults are.
- Take online safety seriously.
- Watch for significant changes in mood or behaviour.
- Seek mental health support when needed.
- Seek parenting support before difficulties reach crisis point.
- Consider mediation after separation where it is safe.
- Use Cafcass parenting resources where appropriate.
- Follow safeguarding plans and Family Court orders.
- Keep important health and education information organised.
- Share important child information appropriately between carers.
- Ask for professional support if a child appears unsafe or distressed.
If You Are Worried About a Child
If you are concerned that a child may be experiencing abuse, neglect or another serious safeguarding risk, concerns can be reported to the relevant local authority children's services team.
Immediate Safety Concerns
If a child or another person is in immediate danger, contact emergency services on 999.
Serious safeguarding concerns should also be reported to the relevant local authority children's services team.
If domestic abuse is involved, do not assume that ordinary co-parenting, joint meetings or mediation will necessarily be safe or appropriate.
Final Message
Parenting is not about being perfect.
It is about providing children with safety, love, support, guidance and stability while continuing to learn and grow as a family.
Strong parenting and healthy family relationships can help children develop confidence, resilience, emotional wellbeing and positive futures.
When parents separate, the relationship between the adults may change, but the child's need for safety, stability, reassurance and appropriate relationships remains.
Children should be supported to be children - not messengers, mediators, witnesses to adult conflict or decision-makers responsible for resolving adult disputes.
Asking for help early can be a sign of responsible parenting, not failure.