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Comprehensive School Support Guide for Families

If a child or young person is in immediate danger or there is a serious risk to life, call 999 or go to A&E.

About this guide

If a child or young person is in immediate danger or there is a serious risk to life, call 999 or go to A&E.

Useful links

Important scope note. The statutory education sections on this page are mainly England-focused, because the source material uses EHCPs, SENCOs, the Department for Education attendance rules and the SEND Tribunal. Wales uses the ALN/IDP system, Scotland uses Additional Support for Learning, and Northern Ireland uses its own SEN framework. A separate devolved-nations section is included near the bottom of this page.

Urgent mental-health or safeguarding help

If a child or young person is in immediate danger or there is a serious risk to life, call 999 or go to A&E.

In England, if urgent mental-health help is needed but it is not a 999 emergency, call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option. This service is available for people of all ages, including children and young people.

Understanding Why a Child May Struggle With School

Some children want to go to school but feel unable to cope. Others may avoid school because something feels unsafe, overwhelming, confusing or embarrassing.

Children may struggle because of:

  • Anxiety
  • Separation anxiety
  • Bullying
  • Friendship problems
  • Sensory overload
  • Autism or ADHD
  • Dyslexia, dyspraxia or learning needs
  • Speech and language difficulties
  • Trauma or bereavement
  • Domestic abuse or family stress
  • Poverty, uniform or transport issues
  • Chronic illness or pain
  • Tiredness or sleep problems
  • Fear of teachers or punishments
  • Feeling behind with learning
  • Exams or pressure
  • Toileting issues
  • Eating difficulties
  • Mental health problems
  • Disability or mobility needs
  • Care responsibilities at home
  • Racism, discrimination or identity-based bullying
  • School not making reasonable adjustments

The Department for Education has guidance for schools and parents where mental health affects attendance, including planning support and adjustments.

Early Years Support: Nursery, Childminders & Reception

Official – England

Early-years SEND duties

The Department for Education has a specific guide for early-years settings. It explains the duties of local-authority-funded early-years providers under the 0–25 SEND system. The statutory SEND Code of Practice should be read alongside it.

Early years support matters because problems can appear before school age.

Children may struggle with:

  • Speech delay
  • Separation anxiety
  • Toileting
  • Sensory needs
  • Eating
  • Sleep
  • Behaviour
  • Social communication
  • Developmental delay
  • Medical needs
  • Autism signs
  • Hearing or vision problems

What parents can do

  • Speak to the nursery, childminder or reception teacher early.
  • Ask what they notice compared with other children.
  • Keep a diary of worries, behaviours, sleep, eating and triggers.
  • Ask for a health visitor review.
  • Speak to the GP if development, hearing, speech or behaviour is a concern.
  • Ask about speech and language support.
  • Ask the setting about SEN support.
  • Use short, predictable routines at drop-off.
  • Use pictures or visual timetables.
  • Practise nursery routines at home through play.
  • Give comfort items if allowed.
  • Use simple language: “You are safe. I will come back after lunch.”

Useful links

Primary School Support

Primary children may show distress through behaviour, tears, tummy aches, refusing to get dressed, anger, clinginess, silence or meltdowns.

Common reasons

  • Separation anxiety
  • Bullying
  • Friendship issues
  • Learning difficulties
  • Sensory overload
  • Fear of getting things wrong
  • Toileting worries
  • Teacher changes
  • Family separation
  • Sleep problems
  • Autism, ADHD or dyslexia
  • Feeling unsafe at break or lunch

NHS guidance explains that anxiety in children is common at different ages and can show in different ways.

What parents can do

  • Stay calm and avoid shouting where possible.
  • Ask gentle questions at quiet times.
  • Use “I wonder” questions: “I wonder if lunch feels too noisy?”
  • Ask school for a meeting with the class teacher and SENCO.
  • Ask for a simple support plan.
  • Agree one safe adult in school.
  • Ask for morning check-ins.
  • Ask for a quiet space or sensory breaks.
  • Break the day into smaller steps.
  • Praise effort, not just attendance.
  • Create a visual morning routine.
  • Prepare uniform and bag the night before.
  • Use a feelings chart.
  • Ask school to monitor bullying, playground issues and lunch times.

Secondary School Support

Reduced / part-time timetables: current DfE guidance says a compulsory-school-age pupil should receive full-time education. A temporary part-time timetable should be used only in very exceptional circumstances where it is in the pupil's best interests, should form part of a wider support or reintegration plan, should be reviewed, and should not be used simply to manage behaviour or as a long-term solution.

Secondary school can be harder because of bigger buildings, different teachers, pressure, social media, exams and friendships.

Young people may struggle with:

  • Anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Bullying or online bullying
  • Friendship groups
  • Body image
  • Identity worries
  • Exam stress
  • ADHD or autism demands
  • Sensory overload
  • Depression
  • Self-harm
  • School trauma
  • Feeling judged
  • Getting lost or being late
  • Homework overload
  • Behaviour sanctions
  • Masking all day then meltdowns at home

What parents can do

  • Ask for a meeting with the head of year, SENCO or pastoral lead.
  • Ask for a named trusted adult.
  • Request reasonable adjustments.
  • Ask for a reduced timetable only if it is properly planned, reviewed and lawful.
  • Ask for help with transitions between lessons.
  • Ask for a time-out card.
  • Ask for toilet access support if needed.
  • Ask school to reduce homework pressure temporarily.
  • Ask for bullying to be recorded and investigated.
  • Ask for exam access arrangements where appropriate.
  • Ask for CAMHS or mental health support if needed.

Useful links

College, Sixth Form & Post-16 Support

Official – England

SEND support in further education

The SEND Code also covers further-education colleges, sixth-form colleges, 16–19 academies and independent specialist colleges. DfE has a separate guide explaining their duties.

Important: an EHC plan can be maintained up to age 25 where the statutory conditions continue to be met; it does not automatically remain in force simply because a young person has not yet turned 25. Disabled Students' Allowance is primarily for eligible higher-education students, while Access to Work is employment-focused and may assist eligible people in work or certain work-based training arrangements.

Young people in college or sixth form may need support with independence, anxiety, disability, travel, learning support, exams, mental health or social confidence.

Support may include:

  • Learning support team
  • SEN support
  • EHCP support up to age 25 where eligible
  • Disabled Students’ Allowance for higher education
  • Exam access arrangements
  • Travel training
  • Mentoring
  • Counselling
  • Reasonable adjustments
  • Supported internships
  • Apprenticeship support

GOV.UK explains that EHC plans can support children and young people up to age 25 when they need more support than normally available through SEN support.

Useful links

School Refusal, School Anxiety & Emotionally Based School Avoidance

Statutory attendance guidance – England

Attendance problems should trigger support as well as attendance action

Working Together to Improve School Attendance was updated again on 9 July 2026. It sets expectations for schools, academy trusts, governing bodies and local authorities, including support for pupils who are persistently or severely absent or at risk of becoming so.

DfE also has separate guidance specifically about social, emotional and mental-health difficulties affecting attendance, with examples of support that can help children build confidence and return to regular attendance.

Some children cannot attend school because their distress becomes too high. This is sometimes called school refusal, school anxiety or emotionally based school avoidance.

This is not always “bad behaviour.” It can be a sign that something is wrong or unsupported.

Signs include:

  • Crying before school
  • Panic attacks
  • Feeling sick
  • Stomach pain or headaches
  • Meltdowns
  • Freezing or shutting down
  • Refusing uniform
  • Hiding
  • Anger before school
  • Begging not to go
  • Sleeping problems
  • Attending some lessons but not others
  • Going in late
  • Leaving early
  • Feeling exhausted after school

YoungMinds notes that school anxiety can be exhausting for both the child and parent, and parents can feel overwhelmed by pressure to get their child into school.

Helpful parent steps

  • Do not assume the child is being difficult.
  • Ask: “What feels hardest about school?”
  • Separate the child from the problem: “You are not the problem; we need to understand what is hard.”
  • Keep communication open with school.
  • Ask for a support plan in writing.
  • Build attendance back gradually where needed.
  • Focus on safety and trust first.
  • Avoid sudden punishment if anxiety is severe.
  • Keep routines gentle and predictable.
  • Ask for mental health, SEND or medical support if needed.

SEND Support and EHCPs

SEND law – England

Important legal duties behind SEND support

  • Children and Families Act 2014, section 66: relevant schools and institutions must use their best endeavours to secure the special educational provision called for by a pupil or student's SEN.
  • Section 36: sets the legal framework for an EHC needs assessment.
  • Section 42: where an EHC plan is maintained, the local authority must secure the special educational provision specified in it, subject to the statutory framework.
  • The SEND Code of Practice: 0 to 25 years remains the core statutory guidance for the current system.
2026 SEND reform: the Government has published proposals and new implementation material, including the Experts at Hand offer. Proposed reforms do not by themselves remove current statutory duties. Parents and schools should check what law and commencement provisions are actually in force at the time of a decision.

SEND means Special Educational Needs and Disabilities.

A child may need SEND support if they have difficulties with:

  • Learning
  • Reading or writing
  • Speech and language
  • Communication
  • Social interaction
  • Sensory needs
  • Physical disability
  • Mental health
  • Behaviour linked to unmet needs
  • Medical conditions
  • Autism or ADHD
  • Dyslexia or dyspraxia

Schools should identify needs, plan support, put support in place, and review it.

An EHCP is for children and young people up to 25 who need more support than is available through ordinary SEN support.

Useful links

Reasonable Adjustments at School

Equality law

Reasonable adjustments are a legal duty

Under the Equality Act 2010, schools and other education providers must not discriminate against disabled learners and must make reasonable adjustments. This is separate from whether a pupil has an EHC plan: a disabled pupil can be entitled to reasonable adjustments without an EHCP.

Disabled pupils may need reasonable adjustments under equality law.

Examples include:

  • Extra time
  • Quiet space
  • Visual timetable
  • Reduced sensory demands
  • Movement breaks
  • Time-out card
  • Alternative uniform arrangements
  • Accessible toilets
  • Lift access
  • Larger print
  • Hearing support
  • Seating plan changes
  • Support during transitions
  • Modified homework
  • Reduced copying from board
  • Safe adult check-ins
  • Flexible start to the day
  • Exam access arrangements

The Department for Education’s attendance and mental health guidance refers to support planning and reasonable adjustments where mental health affects attendance.

Bullying, Discrimination and Safety

Safety & safeguarding

Bullying may overlap with discrimination, safeguarding or crime

GOV.UK says state schools must have measures in their behaviour policy to prevent bullying. Violence, theft, repeated harassment or intimidation and hate crime can also cross into criminal law. Cyberbullying evidence such as messages should be preserved rather than deleted.

Schools and colleges in England must also follow statutory safeguarding guidance. On 29 August 2026, Keeping Children Safe in Education 2025 remains in force until 31 August; the 2026 edition takes effect on 1 September 2026.

Children may avoid school because they feel unsafe.

Bullying may be:

  • Physical
  • Verbal
  • Online
  • Racist
  • Disability-related
  • Homophobic or transphobic
  • Sexual harassment
  • Linked to poverty, clothing, family or appearance

What parents can do:

  • Keep a written record.
  • Screenshot online abuse.
  • Report to class teacher, head of year or safeguarding lead.
  • Ask for the school anti-bullying policy.
  • Ask what action will be taken.
  • Ask how your child will be kept safe.
  • Contact police if threats, assault, harassment or hate crime are involved.

Useful links

Mental Health Support

If there is an urgent mental-health risk

If the child or young person is in immediate danger, has seriously harmed themselves, or there is a serious risk to life: call 999 or go to A&E.

In England, urgent mental-health crisis support is available 24/7 through NHS 111 – select the mental-health option. A parent, carer or loved one can also call on a child or young person's behalf.

Children and young people may struggle with:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Self-harm
  • Eating difficulties
  • Trauma
  • Panic attacks
  • Low confidence
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • OCD
  • Bereavement
  • Stress
  • Anger
  • Emotional overwhelm

Get urgent help if a child may harm themselves or someone else.

Support

  • GP
  • School pastoral team
  • School nurse
  • CAMHS
  • NHS Talking Therapies where age appropriate
  • Local mental health support teams in schools
  • YoungMinds
  • Childline
  • Kooth where available locally

Useful links

Attendance: Working With School

Attendance action should not replace identifying the barrier. Current DfE statutory guidance tells schools and local authorities to work with pupils and families to understand and remove barriers. Legal interventions exist, but the guidance also sets out support expectations before or alongside enforcement where appropriate.

Parents are expected to make sure children receive education, but schools and councils should also work with families where there are barriers.

The Department for Education says support should be considered where mental health affects attendance.

Ask school for:

  • Attendance meeting
  • Pastoral support plan
  • SENCO involvement
  • Early help referral
  • Reduced anxiety plan
  • Medical needs plan
  • Bullying investigation
  • Reasonable adjustments
  • Reintegration plan
  • Alternative provision discussion if needed
  • Written record of agreed actions

If your child is ill, the Children’s Commissioner parent guide explains that if a child is too ill to attend, parents should tell school as soon as possible and schools must record illness absence appropriately.

Practical Things Parents Can Try at Home

Morning routine support

  • Prepare clothes, bag and lunch the night before.
  • Use a visual checklist.
  • Keep mornings calm and predictable.
  • Use simple choices: “jumper first or shoes first?”
  • Avoid long arguments at the door.
  • Use reassurance but keep it short.
  • Plan a calming activity before leaving.

Anxiety support

  • Use breathing exercises.
  • Use grounding: name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear.
  • Make a worry box.
  • Write worries down and sort them into “today”, “later”, “school can help”.
  • Practise the journey when school is closed.
  • Arrange a meet-and-greet with a safe adult.

Confidence support

  • Praise small steps.
  • Celebrate trying.
  • Avoid comparing siblings or classmates.
  • Give responsibilities at home.
  • Help the child notice strengths.
  • Break tasks into smaller steps.

Sensory support

  • Try ear defenders if noise is a problem.
  • Cut labels out of clothes.
  • Ask school about uniform adjustments.
  • Use fidget tools if helpful.
  • Build in quiet time after school.
  • Reduce after-school demands.

Learning support

  • Read together in short sessions.
  • Use audiobooks.
  • Use coloured overlays if helpful.
  • Practise homework in short chunks.
  • Ask school for differentiated homework.
  • Ask for dyslexia or learning screening.

What Schools Can Do

Current school duties – England

Safeguarding, SEND and attendance duties overlap

A child who is absent, distressed or behaving differently may have more than one need. Schools may need to consider attendance support, safeguarding, SEND, disability adjustments, bullying, medical needs and pastoral support together rather than treating each issue in isolation.

Schools can help by:

  • Listening without blaming
  • Meeting parents early
  • Involving the child
  • Checking for bullying
  • Checking SEND needs
  • Creating an attendance support plan
  • Offering a safe adult
  • Adjusting homework
  • Providing sensory breaks
  • Supporting transitions
  • Using nurture or pastoral support
  • Making reasonable adjustments
  • Recording concerns properly
  • Referring to early help, school nurse or CAMHS where needed

Medical Needs in School

Medical needs – England

Medical conditions and education when a child cannot attend

The existing statutory guidance on supporting pupils with medical conditions at school remains in force while the Department for Education prepares updated guidance following its 2026 consultation. Individual Healthcare Plans can be useful where a child's medical condition needs coordinated school support.

Separately, local authorities have duties under section 19 of the Education Act 1996 to arrange suitable education for compulsory-school-age children who would otherwise miss suitable education because of illness, exclusion or other reasons. DfE has statutory guidance specifically for children who cannot attend school because of health needs.

Children with medical conditions may need an Individual Healthcare Plan.

This may include:

  • Medication
  • Emergency instructions
  • Allergies
  • Diabetes care
  • Epilepsy care
  • Asthma plan
  • Mobility support
  • Fatigue support
  • Pain support
  • Toileting support
  • Hospital appointment planning

Useful links

Family Support and Early Help

Families may need extra support because of:

  • Housing problems
  • Poverty
  • Domestic abuse
  • Parental mental health
  • Separation
  • Bereavement
  • Caring responsibilities
  • Disability
  • Debt
  • Food insecurity
  • Transport problems

Early Help can support families before problems become worse.

Ask school, health visitor, GP, council or family hub about:

  • Early Help assessment
  • Family support worker
  • Parenting support
  • Young carers support
  • Domestic abuse support
  • Food or uniform support
  • Mental health support
  • SEND advice
  • Housing help

Useful links

Family Lives helpline

  • 0808 800 2222

When to Ask for More Help

Ask for extra help if:

  • Your child is missing school regularly.
  • They are crying, panicking or shutting down.
  • They talk about self-harm or not wanting to live.
  • Bullying is not stopping.
  • They are falling behind.
  • They have repeated exclusions or behaviour sanctions.
  • You suspect autism, ADHD, dyslexia or learning needs.
  • They have ongoing medical symptoms.
  • School says “nothing is wrong” but home is in crisis.
  • You feel blamed instead of supported.

Complaints and Appeals

Complaints – England

Use the correct route for the issue

  • General school complaint: normally use the school's complaints procedure first.
  • Safeguarding: contact the local authority children's services / police where appropriate; call 999 for immediate danger.
  • Disability discrimination: Equality Advisory Support Service can advise; disability discrimination claims involving schools may have a tribunal route.
  • EHCP/SEND decision with appeal rights: use the SEND Tribunal route where the law gives a right of appeal.
  • Whole-school concerns: Ofsted can receive qualifying complaints after the school process, but does not resolve individual disputes.
  • DfE complaint: may be available after the school process where the complaint falls within DfE's remit.
Suspensions and permanent exclusions: statutory guidance was updated on 26 July 2026. A school must use the formal exclusion process; simply sending a child home informally because of behaviour can amount to an unlawful exclusion. The school also cannot exclude a pupil simply because of a disability or additional needs it cannot meet.

If support is not happening:

  1. Ask for a meeting and written plan.
  2. Put concerns in writing.
  3. Ask for the school complaints policy.
  4. Contact the local authority SEND team if SEND is involved.
  5. Contact SENDIASS locally.
  6. Get advice from IPSEA or SOS!SEN.
  7. Consider SEND Tribunal where legally appropriate.

Useful links

Support Links Directory

Government and NHS

Children and young people

SEND and education rights

Parenting and family support

Bullying and safety

Official nation-specific systems

Education Support Outside England

The practical ideas throughout this guide can be useful anywhere, but the legal systems differ.

Wales – Additional Learning Needs

Wales uses the Additional Learning Needs (ALN) system and Individual Development Plans rather than England's EHCP framework. Welsh Government published an updated parent/carer toolkit in June 2026.

Scotland – Additional Support for Learning

Scotland uses the Additional Support for Learning framework. The fourth-edition Supporting Children's Learning Code of Practice was published in February 2026.

Northern Ireland – SEN

Northern Ireland retains its own SEN framework and Education Authority processes. The Education Authority provides current guidance on school support, statutory assessment and SEN statements.

Quick Parent Checklist

✓ Speak to school early ✓ Ask for SENCO or pastoral support ✓ Keep a diary of symptoms, worries and absence ✓ Ask what happens at break, lunch and transitions ✓ Ask for a written support plan ✓ Ask about SEND support or EHCP if needed ✓ Ask for reasonable adjustments ✓ Check bullying and safety ✓ Speak to GP if anxiety, illness or mental health is affecting school ✓ Contact SENDIASS, IPSEA, YoungMinds or Citizens Advice if you feel stuck

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