Grief is personal
There is no fixed timetable and no universal grieving process. Feelings can change from day to day and may return unexpectedly months or years later.
Understanding bereavement and grief
Bereavement
Bereavement is the experience of losing someone through death.
Grief
Grief is the emotional, psychological, physical, social and sometimes spiritual response to loss.
Common reactions to grief
Emotional reactions
- Sadness
- Shock
- Anger
- Guilt
- Relief
- Anxiety
- Loneliness
- Emotional numbness
Physical reactions
- Fatigue
- Sleep difficulties
- Appetite changes
- Headaches
- Muscle tension
- Difficulty concentrating
Behavioural reactions
- Social withdrawal
- Crying
- Restlessness
- Forgetfulness
- Difficulty making decisions
- Changes in routine
Losing a loved one
The impact of a death may be shaped by the relationship, circumstances, previous losses, personal coping style, support network and cultural or religious beliefs.
Intense sadness
Emotions may come in waves and may be triggered unexpectedly.
Changes in identity
Roles, routines, responsibilities and relationships may change.
Practical pressure
Housing, money, parenting, work and daily tasks can become harder.
Grief is not linear
People often hear about stages of grief, but not everyone experiences the same stages or experiences them in the same order.
Different family losses
Loss of a parent
People may feel orphaned even in adulthood, face changed family roles and carry unresolved feelings.
Loss of a partner or spouse
Daily routines, finances, housing, parenting and social identity may all be affected.
Loss of a child
Parents may experience profound grief, trauma, guilt, anger and anxiety. There is no correct timeline.
Loss of a sibling
Sibling grief can involve shared history, survivor guilt and changes in family relationships.
Loss of a grandparent
This may be a child or young person’s first experience of death and family change.
Loss of a friend
Friendship grief is valid and can be underestimated by others.
Child bereavement
Possible signs
- Behaviour changes
- Anxiety or anger
- Withdrawal
- Sleep difficulties
- School difficulties
- Physical complaints
Helpful support
- Honest age-appropriate communication
- Stable routines
- Reassurance
- Encouraging questions
- Allowing emotional expression
- Professional support when needed
Sudden loss and traumatic grief
Sudden deaths may follow accidents, medical emergencies, suicide, violence or unexpected illness. Shock can be intense because there was little or no time to prepare.
Common reactions
Disbelief, anger, confusion, intrusive thoughts and difficulty accepting what happened.
Trauma symptoms
Flashbacks, nightmares, panic, hypervigilance and emotional numbness.
Professional help
Trauma-informed counselling or mental-health support may be helpful if symptoms continue.
Suicide bereavement
Complex feelings are common
People bereaved by suicide may experience shock, guilt, anger, shame and unanswered questions. No one is responsible for another person’s suicide.
Bereavement counselling and NHS support
Counselling
A safe space to process grief, emotions, anxiety, trauma and life changes.
GP support
A GP can assess mental health, sleep, medication needs and referral options.
Talking Therapies
Adults in England may be able to self-refer for anxiety and depression support.
Community support
Local wellbeing services, support groups, faith communities and charities may help.
Workplace support
Support may include
- Compassionate or bereavement leave
- Employee Assistance Programmes
- Occupational health
- Flexible working
- Phased return
- Temporary workload changes
Returning to work
- Reduced concentration
- Fatigue
- Emotional distress
- Anxiety
- Reduced confidence
Coping with anniversaries
Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, religious celebrations and dates connected to the death may bring strong emotions even many years later.
Plan ahead
Think about how you would like to spend important dates.
Lower expectations
Reduce pressure and allow extra time for rest.
Create rituals
Light a candle, visit a meaningful place, share memories or support a cause.
Delayed and prolonged grief
Delayed grief
Grief may appear months or years later because responsibilities, trauma or other life events delayed emotional processing.
Prolonged grief
Some people experience intense grief that continues to seriously affect daily life. Professional support can help.
Consider seeking help when daily life feels impossible, grief remains extremely intense, isolation increases or mental health worsens.
Culture, faith and personal differences
Grief may be shaped by culture, religion, spiritual beliefs, family traditions and personal values. Some people find comfort through prayer, ceremonies, community gatherings or traditional mourning practices. Others do not follow any faith.
All respectful grieving styles deserve understanding.
Supporting someone who is grieving
Listen
Allow them to speak without judgement or pressure.
Do not rush grief
Avoid telling someone to move on or get over it.
Offer practical help
Meals, transport, childcare, paperwork and appointments can be useful.
Keep checking in
Support is often needed after the funeral and in later months.
Urgent mental-health support
Seek urgent help if someone cannot stay safe, is experiencing suicidal thoughts or is at immediate risk.
Pregnancy loss and miscarriage
Pregnancy loss can include miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy and termination for medical reasons. It can affect parents, partners, intended parents, surrogates and wider family.
Possible feelings
Shock, sadness, guilt, anger, anxiety, depression and isolation.
Why grief may feel hidden
Others may not recognise the relationship, hopes and future that have been lost.
Support
GP care, counselling, specialist pregnancy-loss organisations and mental-health services.
Stillbirth and infant loss
Stillbirth
A baby dies before or during birth after 24 weeks of pregnancy. The emotional impact can be profound and long-lasting.
Neonatal and infant loss
Families may experience grief, trauma, guilt, anxiety, relationship strain and isolation.
Specialist support
Bereavement midwives, perinatal mental-health services and baby-loss organisations may help.
Pet bereavement
Pets can be important members of a household. Their death or enforced separation may cause genuine grief, loneliness, guilt and loss of routine.
Grief in older age
Possible challenges
- Multiple bereavements
- Loss of a partner or friends
- Retirement
- Health changes
- Reduced independence
- Isolation
Helpful support
- Maintaining social contact
- Age UK and local groups
- GP and mental-health support
- Bereavement counselling
- Faith or community groups
Anticipatory grief
Anticipatory grief begins before a death and is common when someone has dementia, cancer, terminal illness or a progressive condition.
Possible feelings
Sadness, anxiety, guilt, helplessness and fear of the future.
Duration
Anticipatory grief may continue for months or years.
Support
Carer support, palliative care, counselling and family communication may help.
Bereavement after dementia
Families may experience loss before death because of changes in memory, communication and personality. After death, relief, guilt, sadness and exhaustion can occur together.
Military bereavement
Military loss may involve sudden or traumatic circumstances, overseas service, public attention and specialist pension or welfare needs.
Practical and financial support after a death
Bereavement Support Payment
Financial help may be available after the death of a partner.
Check eligibilityFuneral expenses
Some people receiving qualifying benefits may be eligible for a Funeral Expenses Payment.
Funeral payment guidanceFind bereavement and mental-health help across the UK
England
Use NHS bereavement guidance, NHS Talking Therapies, local councils, hospices and bereavement charities.
NHS England guidanceScotland
NHS Inform and Cruse Scotland provide bereavement information and support.
NHS Inform bereavementCruse ScotlandNorthern Ireland
NI Direct, local health trusts, Cruse and Helplines NI provide support.
NI Direct bereavementHelplines NIUK bereavement organisations
Cruse Bereavement Support
Support for anyone affected by grief across the UK.
Visit CruseHelpline: 0808 808 1677
Child Bereavement UK
Support for children, young people, parents and families.
Visit serviceHelpline: 0800 02 888 40
Marie Curie
Information and support for people affected by terminal illness and bereavement.
Visit serviceWhen to seek professional help
Consider additional support if grief feels overwhelming, anxiety or depression is worsening, sleep becomes severely affected, trauma symptoms develop, daily functioning becomes difficult or thoughts of self-harm occur.
Emergency and urgent support
If you feel unable to stay safe, are experiencing suicidal thoughts or someone is in immediate danger, seek urgent help.
Frequently asked questions
Is there a normal length of time for grief?
No. Grief differs between people and may change over months or years.
Can grief begin before someone dies?
Yes. Anticipatory grief is common when someone has a terminal or progressive illness.
Can grief affect physical health?
Yes. Fatigue, sleep problems, appetite changes, headaches and tension can occur.
Is relief after a death normal?
Relief can occur, especially after prolonged illness or caring. It does not mean the person was not loved.
Can a child return to play soon after hearing about a death?
Yes. Children may move in and out of grief more quickly than adults.
When should I contact a GP?
Contact a GP if low mood, anxiety, trauma symptoms or inability to function continue or become more severe.
Key message
Bereavement and grief are deeply personal. Loss may involve a partner, parent, child, baby, sibling, friend, grandparent, pet, health, independence or an important chapter of life.
There is no correct way to grieve and no fixed timetable. Support is available through the NHS, bereavement services, charities, employers, schools, faith communities, local authorities and UK Government services.
Seeking support is not weakness. No one is expected to face bereavement alone.
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Support matters. Understanding matters. People matter.