Abuse is never acceptable
No person or child should feel unsafe, controlled, frightened, threatened or isolated within a relationship or home. Domestic abuse is not always physical. Emotional abuse, coercive control, intimidation, financial abuse, stalking, digital abuse and sexual abuse can all cause serious harm.
Understanding domestic abuse
Domestic abuse can happen in
- Marriages and civil partnerships
- Partner or dating relationships
- Former relationships
- Family relationships
- Shared households
Abuse may involve
- Physical violence
- Emotional or psychological abuse
- Coercive control
- Financial abuse
- Stalking or harassment
- Digital monitoring
- Sexual abuse
- Threats or intimidation
Emotional abuse and coercive control
Control
Monitoring movements, messages, money, clothing, friendships or daily choices.
Isolation
Preventing contact with friends, family, work, education or support services.
Humiliation
Constant criticism, insults, ridicule or deliberate damage to confidence.
Gaslighting
Making someone question their memory, judgement or understanding of events.
Financial abuse
Restricting money, taking wages or benefits, creating debt or preventing employment.
Fear and dependency
Threats, intimidation or unpredictable behaviour that makes someone feel trapped.
The emotional impact of abuse and trauma
Anxiety and panic
Constant fear, racing thoughts, panic symptoms or feeling unable to relax.
Depression
Low mood, hopelessness, loss of confidence or emotional numbness.
Hypervigilance
Feeling constantly alert, watching for danger or being easily startled.
Sleep difficulties
Insomnia, nightmares, broken sleep or fear of sleeping.
Trust difficulties
Finding it hard to feel safe with other people after abuse.
Trauma symptoms
Flashbacks, avoidance, emotional shutdown or feeling disconnected.
People may continue to experience emotional effects after abuse has ended. Recovery takes time, safety and support.
Children and domestic abuse
Children may experience
- Anxiety or fear
- Sleep problems
- Behavioural changes
- School difficulties
- Withdrawal or anger
- Trauma responses
Children benefit from
- Safe environments
- Stable routines
- Calm reassurance
- Trusted adults
- Early emotional support
- Protection from adult conflict
Children should never be used within adult conflict
They should not be asked to carry messages, take sides, monitor another parent or become involved in abusive behaviour.
Recognising warning signs
Fearfulness
Appearing frightened around a partner or family member.
Isolation
Reduced contact with friends, family, work or community.
Financial dependence
Having no access to money, bank accounts or important documents.
Changes in behaviour
Sudden anxiety, low confidence, withdrawal or emotional distress.
Communication changes
Messages being monitored or fear of speaking freely.
Unexplained injuries
Injuries with unclear, changing or unlikely explanations.
Supporting someone experiencing abuse
Helpful responses
- Listen calmly
- Believe and take concerns seriously
- Avoid blame
- Respect safety and choices
- Encourage specialist support
- Call emergency services if danger is immediate
Avoid
- Pressuring them to leave immediately
- Contacting the abuser
- Making promises you cannot keep
- Sharing information without considering safety
- Suggesting joint mediation where abuse or fear exists
Safety planning
Safety plans should be personalised
Leaving can sometimes increase risk. Specialist domestic abuse services can help someone consider safer options based on their circumstances.
Possible safety-planning steps
- Identify trusted contacts
- Plan safe places to go
- Keep emergency numbers available
- Keep essential documents accessible where safe
- Consider safe transport
- Use a safe device when looking for help
- Seek police or specialist advice where risk is high
Digital safety
Use a device the abusive person cannot access where possible. Review account passwords, location sharing, cloud access and connected devices. Do not make changes that could increase immediate risk without considering safety first.
Housing and refuge support
Local councils, specialist domestic abuse services, refuges and housing charities may help with emergency accommodation and homelessness risk.
Trauma recovery and emotional healing
Trauma-informed therapy
Support that prioritises safety, choice, dignity and control.
Safe housing
Stable accommodation can be an important part of recovery.
Support networks
Trusted people and specialist services can reduce isolation.
Rest and recovery
Healing may involve sleep support, routine and reduced pressure.
Confidence
Rebuilding independence and self-belief often happens gradually.
Mental-health support
GPs, counselling and specialist services can help with anxiety, depression and trauma.
Healthy relationships
Respect
Both people should be treated with dignity.
Safety
No one should feel afraid of the other person.
Equality
Decisions and responsibilities should not be controlled through fear.
Boundaries
Personal space, privacy and choices should be respected.
Communication
Disagreement should not involve intimidation or humiliation.
Freedom
People should be able to maintain safe friendships, work and interests.
Find domestic abuse help across the UK
England
Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline provides free, confidential support 24 hours a day.
National Domestic Abuse HelplineCall: 0808 2000 247
Scotland
Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline supports anyone affected by domestic abuse or forced marriage.
Scotland helplineCall: 0800 027 1234
Wales
Live Fear Free provides confidential advice and support about domestic abuse and sexual violence.
Live Fear FreeNorthern Ireland
The 24-hour Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline supports women and men affected by abuse.
Northern Ireland helplineCall: 0808 802 1414
Specialist support services
Women’s Aid
Information and support for women and children affected by domestic abuse.
Visit Women’s Aid →Men’s Advice Line
Confidential support for male victims of domestic abuse.
Visit Men’s Advice Line →0808 801 0327
Respect Phoneline
Confidential help for people worried about their abusive behaviour.
Visit Respect Phoneline →Hourglass
Support for older people experiencing abuse and those concerned about them.
Visit Hourglass →0808 808 8141
Legal, financial and practical help
Police and reporting
Call 101 for non-emergency police reporting or 999 in immediate danger.
Legal aid
Legal aid may be available where domestic abuse evidence and financial eligibility requirements are met.
DWP support
Jobcentre Plus may provide additional support where domestic abuse affects benefit claims.
Housing
Local councils may have duties to assist people who are homeless because of domestic abuse.
Crisis and emergency support
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999.
Call 999
If you cannot speak on a mobile call, listen to the instructions and press 55 when prompted to reach police through the Silent Solution.
Urgent mental-health help
Call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option.
Emotional support
Call Samaritans free on 116 123.
What to do during emotional overwhelm
Step 1 — Pause and breathe
Breathe in slowly for two counts and out slowly for two counts. Repeat without rushing.
Step 2 — Ground yourself
Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one thing you can focus on.
Step 3 — Move to a safer space
Move away from conflict where possible, lower noise and seek a place where you feel safer.
Step 4 — Contact someone
Tell a trusted person, support worker, GP or helpline that you are struggling.
Step 5 — Avoid major decisions while overwhelmed
Focus first on immediate safety, calming and professional support.
Step 6 — Reach professional help
Use NHS 111, a GP, local mental-health services or emergency services when needed.
Our message
Domestic abuse and emotional trauma can have serious and lasting effects on adults, children, families and mental health.
Every person deserves to feel safe, respected, listened to and protected from harm.
Safety matters. Support matters. People matter.