Supporting a Friend or Family Member

Right First Time UK • Mental Health Help & Support

Helping Someone With Their Mental Health, Knowing What To Say, Crisis Support, Boundaries, Self-Care & UK Support Services

Watching a friend, partner, family member, colleague, child, parent, or loved one struggle with their mental health can be difficult and sometimes overwhelming.

Many people worry: What should I say? What if I say the wrong thing? How do I help? What if they refuse support? What if they are suicidal? How do I protect my own wellbeing?

You do not need to be a mental health professional to make a positive difference.

Simply being present, listening without judgement, and helping someone access support can have a significant impact.

This page provides general guidance and signposting only. It is not a substitute for professional medical, safeguarding or emergency support.

Signs Someone May Be Struggling

Mental health difficulties can affect people differently. Common signs may include:

• Withdrawing from others
• Appearing sad or low
• Increased anxiety
• Irritability or anger
• Changes in sleep
• Changes in eating habits
• Loss of motivation
• Missing work or school
• Increased alcohol or drug use
• Self-harm
• Talking about hopelessness
• Loss of interest in hobbies
• Avoiding social situations
• Talking about feeling like a burden

Starting A Conversation

Many people worry about saying the wrong thing. Simple, honest approaches often work best.

What To Say

• Listen carefully
• Stay calm
• Be patient
• Acknowledge their feelings
• Show empathy
• Ask open questions
• Let them speak at their own pace

What Not To Say

Comments like these may make someone feel dismissed or unheard:

Even when well-intentioned, these responses can close down a conversation.

Listening Is Often More Important Than Fixing

Many people feel pressure to solve problems. Often the most valuable support is:

• Listening
• Understanding
• Reassurance
• Compassion
• Being present

Encouraging Professional Support

You can encourage someone to seek help without trying to force or diagnose them.

Options may include:

• GP appointment
• NHS mental health services
• NHS Talking Therapies in England
• School or college support
• University support services
• Workplace support
• Charities
• Community organisations

Practical help can include making a list of services, helping with forms, arranging transport, sitting with them while they make a call, or accompanying them to an appointment if they want you there.

NHS & National Mental Health Support

Find Urgent Mental Health Help Across the UK

Supporting Someone With Anxiety or Depression

Supporting Someone Who Is Suicidal

Always take suicidal thoughts seriously. Warning signs can include talking about wanting to die, hopelessness, believing others would be better off without them, giving possessions away, increased risk-taking, or sudden withdrawal.

Supporting Someone Who Self-Harms

Self-harm should always be taken seriously.

• Stay calm
• Listen
• Avoid judgement
• Encourage professional support
• Seek medical help for injuries where needed
• Avoid punishment, criticism or shaming

If you believe there is immediate danger, use emergency services.

Supporting Children & Young People

Children and young people may show distress through school refusal, behaviour changes, anger, withdrawal, sleep problems, anxiety or self-harm.

Bereavement, Domestic Abuse, Money & Housing

Practical Ways To Help

You may be able to help by:

• Checking in regularly
• Helping with appointments
• Helping organise paperwork
• Providing transport where appropriate
• Assisting with shopping
• Helping with meals
• Encouraging healthy routines
• Supporting benefit or housing applications
• Helping them contact services
• Helping identify local support

Small acts of practical support can make a meaningful difference when someone is overwhelmed.

Looking After Yourself

Supporting someone else can be emotionally demanding. Your wellbeing matters too.

• Take breaks
• Maintain your own support network
• Set healthy boundaries
• Seek support if needed
• Recognise your own limits
• Share caring responsibilities where possible

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries help protect both people.

• Be honest about what you can do
• Encourage professional help
• Maintain your own routines
• Take time for yourself
• Do not promise secrecy where someone is at serious risk
• Do not take responsibility for providing professional treatment

If They Refuse Help

Many people initially refuse support.

You can still:

• Keep communication open
• Continue checking in
• Provide information
• Encourage help gently
• Ask what type of support they would accept
• Seek professional advice yourself if risk increases

If you believe someone is at immediate risk, seek emergency help even if they do not want routine support.

Safeguarding Concerns

If a child or vulnerable adult may be at risk of abuse, neglect, exploitation or significant harm, contact the appropriate safeguarding service, social-care service, police or health service.

Supporting Someone With SEND, Autism or ADHD

Some people may need clearer communication, more time to process information, predictable routines, reduced sensory demands or reasonable adjustments.

Advanced Support & Protection

• Keep emergency information easy to find
• Know who is already in their support network
• Encourage professional help
• Take risk concerns seriously
• Keep important information secure
• Seek advice early
• Protect your own wellbeing
• Know when the situation is beyond what you can safely manage alone

Useful UK Support Links

Supporting A Friend Or Family Member Checklist