Common questions
How do I help someone with depression? How do I help someone with anxiety? What should I say to someone who is struggling? What should I do if someone may be suicidal? How can families support mental health?
Understanding mental-health difficulties
Mental-health difficulties can affect anyone
- Any age or gender
- Any sexuality or identity
- Disabled and non-disabled people
- Every ethnicity and faith
- Every income and education level
- People in and out of work
Difficulties may include
- Anxiety and depression
- Panic, PTSD and OCD
- Bipolar disorder and psychosis
- Eating disorders
- Self-harm and addiction
- Suicidal thoughts
- Stress, burnout, grief and bereavement
Every person’s experience is different.
Signs someone may be struggling
Emotional signs
- Persistent sadness
- Tearfulness
- Anxiety
- Irritability
- Hopelessness
- Mood swings
- Emotional numbness
Behavioural signs
- Withdrawing from others
- Avoiding activities
- Increased alcohol or drug use
- Missing work or education
- Changes in routines
- Risk-taking or self-harm
Physical and cognitive signs
- Fatigue
- Sleep or appetite changes
- Weight changes
- Lack of energy
- Poor concentration
- Forgetfulness
- Negative thinking
How to start a conversation
Choose a quiet, private place and use simple, caring language.
Listen without judgement
- Listen more than you talk
- Avoid interrupting
- Be patient
- Acknowledge their feelings
- Show empathy
People often remember how supported they felt more than the exact words used.
Take concerns seriously
- Believe them
- Stay calm
- Encourage support
- Do not minimise what they say
- Check whether they feel safe
Stay connected
Check in
Send a message or call regularly without putting pressure on them.
Offer practical help
Help with appointments, shopping, meals, childcare or finding services.
Be consistent
Small, reliable acts of support often matter more than perfect words.
Helpful things to say
- “I’m here for you.”
- “Thank you for telling me.”
- “That sounds really difficult.”
- “You’re not alone.”
- “It’s OK to ask for help.”
- “Let’s look at support together.”
What not to say
- “Just cheer up.”
- “Everyone feels like that.”
- “Others have it worse.”
- “Get over it.”
- “You’re being dramatic.”
- “Snap out of it.”
- “It’s all in your head.”
Helping someone with depression
They may struggle to
- Get out of bed
- Attend work or education
- Socialise
- Complete daily tasks
- Make decisions
Helpful support
- Listen
- Offer practical help
- Encourage professional support
- Remain patient
- Avoid judgement
Helping someone with anxiety
Stay calm
Use a steady voice and avoid adding pressure.
Listen
Let them explain what feels frightening or overwhelming.
Reduce immediate stress
Move to a quieter place, slow things down and help them focus on one step.
Helping someone who self-harms
Do
- Stay calm
- Listen
- Avoid judgement
- Encourage support
- Take concerns seriously
Do not
- Punish them
- Shame them
- Threaten them
- Demand explanations
- Make promises you cannot keep
Helping someone who may be suicidal
Ask directly and calmly. Asking about suicide does not plant the idea or increase risk.
Ask
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
“Have you been thinking about ending your life?”
“Do you feel safe?”
Listen
Stay calm, do not judge and take what they say seriously.
Act
Do not leave someone alone if there is immediate risk. Contact emergency or urgent mental-health support.
Emergency warning signs
- Saying they want to die
- Talking about suicide or having a plan
- Access to means of self-harm
- Giving away possessions or saying goodbye
- Being unable to stay safe
- Severe deterioration, psychosis or confusion
Supporting children and young people
Warning signs
- Behaviour changes
- School difficulties
- Withdrawal
- Self-harm
- Mood changes
- Increased anxiety
Support
- Listen and reassure
- Speak to school wellbeing or safeguarding staff
- Contact a GP
- Ask about local children and young people’s mental-health services
- Seek urgent help when safety is at risk
Supporting someone with psychosis
Seek professional help if someone is experiencing hallucinations, delusions, extreme confusion or major changes in behaviour. Avoid arguing about what they believe. Stay calm, focus on safety and seek urgent help if risk is high.
Looking after yourself while supporting others
Maintain boundaries
You can care without becoming responsible for everything.
Take breaks
Rest, sleep and time away are important.
Seek support
Talk to someone you trust, your GP, a carer service or support organisation.
Know your limits
You are not expected to replace professional care.
Additional topics
Family and carers
Partner support, child anxiety, autism, ADHD, compassion fatigue and carer burnout.
Crisis and prevention
Safety planning, suicide prevention, mental-health first aid and self-harm support.
Education and work
Student mental health, school support, workplace wellbeing and reasonable adjustments.
Specialist support
Bereavement, addiction, domestic abuse, LGBTQ+ support, neurodiversity and trauma.
Find urgent mental-health help across the UK
England
Call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option. Call 999 or attend A&E if there is immediate danger.
England urgent helpScotland
Phone NHS 24 on 111 for urgent mental-health support. Phone 999 in an emergency.
Scotland urgent helpNorthern Ireland
Use NI Direct mental-health services and emergency guidance. Call 999 if someone is in immediate danger.
Northern Ireland urgent helpUK support services
NHS Mental Health Services
Access information, treatment and urgent mental-health help.
Open NHS servicesCitizens Advice
Help with benefits, housing, debt, employment and practical problems.
Visit Citizens AdviceDisability Rights UK
Benefits, rights, independent living and employment guidance.
Visit Disability Rights UKRelated Right First Time UK pages
Key message
You do not have to fix someone’s problems to help them. Listening, showing compassion, taking concerns seriously, staying connected and helping them access the right support can make a significant difference.
Sometimes simply being there and helping someone reach support at the right time can change — and even save — a life.
Right First Time UK
Support matters. Understanding matters. People matter.